First Time Stepmom

I married for the second time in July of 2008.  I'd been divorced about a year and a half, after a 13-year marriage.  Although we had problems upon problems, one continuing disagreement I had with my ex was over children.  I wanted them, but was physically unable to have them.  My ex said he wanted them, but in reality he didn't, and was relieved when I found out I couldn't get pregnant. So relieved, in fact, that he practically danced a jig when I gave him the news.  And, no way would he consider adoption, because he didn't want to, in his words,  "inherit problems".

Anyway, it took me a few more years and a lot more heartache, but I finally decided that I would be better off without him.  My current husband and I got married last July, and I got two stepsons.  They are both grown, 25 and 21.  I've met them both, but they do not live in the same part of the country as their father and I.  They have both stayed with us for extended periods of time.

We get along great, but at times I feel awkward with them.  They both ask me for advice occasionally, advice that they would ask of a mother.  It's not like they don't have a mother, in fact she lives in the same town  they do. I feel honored that they trust me and ask me for advice, but sometimes I'm not  sure what to do.  Not having had children, the relationship with the boys is, for me at least, awkward.  Not uncomfortable really, it's just that I'm unsure, and I don't want to mess up.

I think I'm getting better.  The older boy calls, emails, and instant messages several times a week.  He sometimes asks for advice, and other times just to talk.  He's planning on moving to the area where his father and I live sometime next month.  That decision has not gone over well with his mother, but it was his decision; his father and I had nothing to do with his choice.  Now that he's made it though, I'm trying to help him as much as I can when he asks.

I never dreamed that I would be a mother - step or otherwise - at 47.  But, it happened and I'm loving every minute of it.