First Time Stepmom

I married for the second time in July of 2008.  I'd been divorced about a year and a half, after a 13-year marriage.  Although we had problems upon problems, one continuing disagreement I had with my ex was over children.  I wanted them, but was physically unable to have them.  My ex said he wanted them, but in reality he didn't, and was relieved when I found out I couldn't get pregnant. So relieved, in fact, that he practically danced a jig when I gave him the news.  And, no way would he consider adoption, because he didn't want to, in his words,  "inherit problems".

Anyway, it took me a few more years and a lot more heartache, but I finally decided that I would be better off without him.  My current husband and I got married last July, and I got two stepsons.  They are both grown, 25 and 21.  I've met them both, but they do not live in the same part of the country as their father and I.  They have both stayed with us for extended periods of time.

We get along great, but at times I feel awkward with them.  They both ask me for advice occasionally, advice that they would ask of a mother.  It's not like they don't have a mother, in fact she lives in the same town  they do. I feel honored that they trust me and ask me for advice, but sometimes I'm not  sure what to do.  Not having had children, the relationship with the boys is, for me at least, awkward.  Not uncomfortable really, it's just that I'm unsure, and I don't want to mess up.

I think I'm getting better.  The older boy calls, emails, and instant messages several times a week.  He sometimes asks for advice, and other times just to talk.  He's planning on moving to the area where his father and I live sometime next month.  That decision has not gone over well with his mother, but it was his decision; his father and I had nothing to do with his choice.  Now that he's made it though, I'm trying to help him as much as I can when he asks.

I never dreamed that I would be a mother - step or otherwise - at 47.  But, it happened and I'm loving every minute of it.

It's Been Awhile

Wow.  I didn't realize how long it'd been since I'd posted here.  Nothing much has changed in these last few months unfortunately.  I'm still looking for a job ~ I want to write so badly, but I just can't get my foot in the door.  I'm having to write for some content sites, which I hate, because I don't feel that it's very productive.  But, it's bringing in a little bit of money, so right now I'll take it. 

I love blogging.    But that's not getting me very far either at the moment. 

The other thing I love to do is make jewelry.  I'm trying to sell it, but so far no takers on it either.

Maybe I need to rethink my life.  I can't go back to the career field I was in unless I move, and I really don't want to do that.  I've applied for many, many, many jobs here, but I've been told that I'm overqualified and too smart by potential employers, and that I wouldn't be happy.  How do they know?  If I didn't think I'd like the job, I wouldn't have applied in the first place.

I hate being pigeonholed, which is what has happened.  I even went to a temp agency to try and find something, anything.  They took one look at my resume, which shows 24 years in one field, and they told me they couldn't help me because they didn't have anything like that here.  They didn't even look at my skills, only my previous job title and employer.

I've applied to countless freelance/WAH jobs as well with no luck.  I looked at my 'sent' email folder in my writing account yesterday.  It's unbelievable the number of jobs I've applied for and not heard anything back.

The frustration is really getting to me.  I have good days and bad days; unfortunately I'm having more bad days lately.  I just don't understand why I'm having so much trouble.  And please, don't tell me it's the economy.  I understand that is a factor.  But, when total morons get jobs that I've applied for and I know I can do better, I just don't understand.

Here's two examples:

1)  I applied for a part-time position at the local library.  My minor in college was library science, and although I'd not worked at a library since college, I was still pretty qualified for what they wanted.  I got an interview, which I thought went  pretty well, but it was evident to me, and probably the interviewer, that I could run rings around the current staff.  I didn't get the job.  I seethe every time I go into the library now because I've seen who did get the job.   And everytime I go in there, there's 4 or 5 library workers gossiping at the circulation desk, no one helping patrons who are standing there waiting; and no one there knows their alphabet or the Dewey Decimal System as there are misfiled books all over the place.

2) I applied for an online job as a proofreader.  In my past career, although it wasn't the primary function of my job, proofreading and copyediting were a big part of it, and I'd spent 24 years doing it, so, again, I was pretty qualified for what they wanted.  I met all the requirements that they had listed for the job.  I got an email from them stating that I wasn't even being considered.  There was no explanation as to why, and they didn't respond to an email when asked.  A couple of days later, a person posts on a forum that I frequent, that they had been offered this job, even though they hadn't applied for it, and they weren't really interested, but accepted it anyway.

Now, I don't begrudge people jobs, but it irks me when jobs go to people who either clearly can't do the job or didn't even apply for the job.

This has turned into more of a rant than I expected when I started.  Sorry about that.